Open Mouth, Insert Soap

If you’re offended by naughty words, skip this post. People get mad at us from time to time for what we publish here, so you should probably block this entire blog while you have the chance.


Do you remember when you were a kid and you learned your first swear word? That’s when you started to feel like a grown up, since kids weren’t allowed to swear. Okay, we’re talking about the olden days, here, because all kids nowadays have potty mouths. But, way back then, we didn’t necessarily understand what the word meant, just that we weren’t supposed to use it. So we’d use it as much as possible, in every other sentence, whether or not it fit, or made the slightest bit of sense. It just felt dirty, and nasty, and completely wrong, which made it absolutely wonderful.

Some people take swearing to a level that even sailors in foreign ports would find impressive. That’s talent. In an effort to get to the top potty mouth on cursebird.com, one such person has made it a full-time job. ThinkingStiff shares the story of his quest to climb to the top of Cursebird, and keep that treasured spot. There are others who have given him a run for his money, but Thinking Stiff is actually the least offensive naughty boy in the race.

We’ve mentioned Cursebird before, and it’s nice to see it’s still around, tracking all the swears on twitter. Cursebird even has their own trending stats at the top of the page so you can see which is the most popular swear on twitter.  F-bombs never trend on Twitter itself, even though it’s probably the most used word in the twitterverse.

In case Cursebird doesn’t offend you enough, there’s one site devoted to the use of the F-word as a plural noun. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Oh, yeah, and thanks to Mrs. Brown who taught us about plural nouns. It makes our blog sound kinda classy. You’re %$@#* awesome.

Send in the Fail Bird! Tell @ThinkingStiff you saw him on Twitter Fail

Dog Daze

Summer is winding down, and one thing we wanted to do before summer ends is get a puppy. So we did. Isn’t she adorable? We will not, however, be creating a twitter account for her, no matter how much she begs.

Of course, other people have given into such demands. Here’s a few of the dogs who have anywhere from several hundred, to several thousand followers on twitter:

Weird as we think it is for people to follow real dogs on twitter, it’s nowhere near as weird as the people following this dog:

We’ve been trying to come up with a punch line, but what could be funnier than a man in a mullet and leather who believes his own hype? Too harsh? Watch the show and get back to us. If you aren’t at least chuckling at the caricatures on the screen, we don’t understand you at all.

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The Name is an Anagram

A few weeks ago, we tweeted about the world’s oldest tweep, @IvyBean104, a lovely woman from the UK. After checking twellow an exhaustive search through twitter, we believe we’ve now found the youngest.

Most babies are bubbly bundles of giggles and drool. @fromthewomb is no ordinary baby, and is, in fact, a very creepy, computer-literate, wise-ass fetus that is both funny and disturbing. If we had such a child growing inside of us, we’d call for an exorcist. Save yourself now and don’t read their tweets. And for god’s sake, don’t eat the chocolate mousse.

(It’s Friday night, and we gave you a couple of good clues. Can you guess what we’re referring to?)

Send in the Fail Bird! Tell them you saw them on twitter-fail

The Inner Circle

Without fans, there would be no celebrities. Without celebrities, there would still be fans, looking for someone who can give their life meaning. We personally think it’s kind of like organized religion sad that these people have so little self-esteem that possible contact with a celebrity is something to live for.

Back in the PT (pre-twitter) days in the earlier part of this century, stalking a celebrity took a lot of work. A fan would write letters, and pray for the post office to bring a reply.  A serious fanatic would hang out on the street outside their studio, their house, or favorite restaurant, in the hopes of getting a glimpse. When their favored celebrity was sighted, they rushed in for a touch of the hand, a quick word, a smile; any acknowledgement, no matter how small, was treasured.

Now, with twitter, these same fanatics can get up-close-and-personal. Or so it would seem. Celebrities on twitter reveal a little bit of their world, and it’s pushed straight into their twitter account. They get to, via a retweet, repeat what they heard, as if it was spoken directly to them.

But do the celebrities notice them?

At a rate of (estimating) 50 per minute, tweeps are tweeting @aplusk. Oprah’s fans are more laid-back, tweeting her only about 50 times per hour. Virtually every popular celebrity on twitter, from @iamdiddy to @RyanSeacrest is being tweeted hundreds, or even thousands, of times a day. There’s no way they can respond to all of those tweets. Or even read a fraction of them.

What do they do, instead? Reply to one or two. That just feeds the frenzy, which keeps each of these tweeps holding their breath, hoping they will be next.

You wanna know what we think is awesome? There’s a new tv show in the works, based on twitter.

The San Francisco-based web phenom has partnered with Reveille and Brillstein Entertainment to develop an unscripted TV skein described as “putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format.”

This has caused an uproar in the Hollywood twitter community. Celebrities use twitter to market their brand, and use their fans to push their personal agenda. Now, the tables will turn, as fans start using celebrities for their own personal gain.

We are giddy with anticipation. Yes, it will probably suck, like most reality shows. However, if enough celebs get pissed off about this show, they may just leave twitter altogether. What a shame.

Send in the Fail Bird! Tell them you saw them on twitter-fail