There’s only one good thing about a fever

When a bad thing happens, you can be a winner and deal with it head-on, or be a loser and let it control your life. You always have a choice.

That’s why we are choosing to do something about the Bieber Fever plague. Symptoms of this dread disease include heart palpitations, frequent screaming, and delusions. Once a victim has been infected with the Bieber parasite, it’s too late to reason with them. The illness takes away all rational thought, and their sole purpose for living is reduced to keeping the Bieber alive. Ignoring this terrible disease that has swept the nation will not make it go away, and it appears that no girl under the age of 18 is immune.

No matter where you look, little girls are screaming about Justin Bieber. And, the more girls scream, the more other girls will scream to prove that they, too, love Justin Bieber even more than any sane person can imagine.

The disease usually follows a predictable progression:

Crying for attention

Banding together with others who are infected

Obsessing over imaginary “facts”

Threats of violence

Panic attacks

This disease is quickly reaching epidemic status. It may be too late to save the young girls you love. If they haven’t already caught the Bieber Fever, it’s only a matter of time.

The only good thing about a fever? Eventually, they run their course. Unfortunately, some girls will not build up an immunity, and will be more susceptible to the next teen epidemic. God help us all.

7 Genuinely Funny Real People on Twitter

When Rackspace got hacked a couple of weeks ago, bad things happened to this blog. Draft posts vanished. Widgets disappeared. We got totally fed up. So, we moved to a new server and are rising from the wreckage and rebuilding.

We’re running a bit low on snark, so, instead of ranting endlessly about out of date server software, bad customer service, inadequate communication, general finger pointing during a crisis, and all that jazz, we give you seven people we follow who are genuinely funny.

@tremendousnews – For Dee, low self-esteem is an art form – tremendousnews.com

@thebloggess – Weird, neurotic, and wonderful – thebloggess.com

@sherigilmour – A woman with a serious attitude problem sherigilmour.com

@JuliaChildCIA – She doesn’t have a blog, but her most faved tweets list is a must read – favstar.fm

@HungryLikeKevin – Clever, with a heapin helping of snark sogoddamn.tumblr.com

And, a shout out to two Honorary Fail Bird Handlers, who are funny enough to write guest posts on this blog:

@stinginthetail – The Queen of Darkness, possibly the AntiChrist stinginthetail.wordpress.com
Guest post: Guy Kawasaki Did Not Invent That Motorbike

@jackassletters – One of the funniest people we know. Jackassletters.com
One of his guest posts: The Secret to Fewer Followers

You won’t find them in our FF list, because we don’t do that.

What funny people do you follow? We’d love to add them to our funny list.

Twitter FTW!

We went to Las Vegas earlier this week, because the Fail Bird Handler was speaking at a conference. It involved a 52-slide Powerpoint presentation (oooohhhh),  handouts (aaaahhhh), and everything. “Everything” included lavalier microphone, tech guys, hotel pens, munchies, little bottles of water… the works.

A good time was had by all.

The event was at Caesars Palace, so that’s where we stayed. Although the bed was nice and cushy, Fail Bird had a hard time sleeping because the feather pillows gave him the creeps.

He did venture out to check out the fountains with their creepy animatronics, and to pose with Joe Louis, the greatest heavyweight boxer of all times.

Unfortunately, not everything went as smoothly as it should. Hotel staff never was able to get our reservation right. When we checked in on Sunday, the clerk said, “checking out Tuesday?” We said, no – Wednesday was checkout. After 30 minutes of running to the back, talking to his supervisor(?), and playing with his keyboard, he said it was all fixed. Keys in hand, we made the trek around the corner, past the Bell Captain, traversed the Palace Casino, through Cleopatra’s Way, took a sharp left in the Forum Casino, into the elevator, up to the 52nd floor, and down the hall to our room, which included, among other things, a breathtaking view of the parking garage. (view map)

Tuesday morning, our housekeeping dude (who did a fine job of cleaning our room, no complaints there) said, “checking out today?” We told him, no, not until Wednesday. He said he’d talk to his supervisor and get it fixed. So, we thought, one little glitch, and all was well. Until Tuesday evening when we went back to the room to change. Neither key worked. We were locked out, which meant we were going to miss our chance to see Big Elvis. (If you haven’t seen him, you’re missing one of the biggest attractions on the strip.)

We went down the elevator, took a sharp right in the Forum Casino, through Cleopatra’s way, into the Palace Casino, past the Bell Captain, around the corner, and back to the front desk. Where we faced the same interminable line we encountered the day we arrived. (Important note: “Early” check-in starts at 1:00 p.m. If you want to check in before 3, get in line well before noon.) Fortunately we got to get in the “short” line, for Premier guests, and people who lost their keys.

When we finally made it to the front of the short line (20 minutes), we were told we had checked out. And that the room was not assigned to us. And that no one was in that room. And, we didn’t have a reservation. And, we had checked out. Pretty funny, because we were still here, our stuff was still in the room, and besides, the clerk on Sunday said he fixed it, and the housekeeping staff dude said he’d have his supervisor fix it, we still planned to stay that night, as was originally booked, paid for, and promised to us a couple of times already. So, after another 20 minutes, the nice clerk gave us new keys and said she fixed it.

She didn’t. When we checked out the next morning, they charged us $123.20 for the room. The room was okay, and was probably worth $123.20, if everything had worked. However, the tv in the bathroom mirror was on the fritz. It was like we were camping.

Not happy with the charge, but needing to get to the airport, receipt in hand, we went on our way.

Since three different people claimed to make things right, and no one did, here’s where twitter comes in. We posted this:

and these:

Which got a response.

Wow. We were stunned, and shared our good fortune with the world.

We DM’d them our information and waited.

And waited.

The next day, based on great advice from @mk_rodgers,
we publicly tweeted the information we had DM’d a day earlier to Caesar’s.

Moments later, we got 3 DM’s back from Caesars. Coincidence? What do you think?

Just after 5:00 p.m., a call came in from Caesars. Kevin Donnelly, Director Hotel Operations, apologized for the bad experience, and tried to explain how it wasn’t their fault, exactly, but he was sorry we had a bad time, anyway. He offered us a complimentary 2-night stay at any of their properties in the future, said he would take care of the credit card charge, and would be sending us an email later that afternoon.

The next morning, we got the promised email. Which included the 2-free nights he promised. And an upgrade to a Deluxe Tower, whatever that is. Maybe a room with a working mirror-tv. Which would be nice, because if you’re staying in a luxury hotel, you really shouldn’t have to rough it.

The moral of the story? Twitter Rulez, y’all. We’re convinced nothing would have happened if we hadn’t gone public with our complaints. We’re not the betting type, but if we were, we’d bet this isn’t over. Is Kevin Donnelly proof that the 4th time is a charm? Or are we just cynical?

We’ll give you an update, after our next trip to Vegas. You know we’re going to tweet about it.

Sometimes Real Life Gets in the Way

We owe you a post.  Had several good ones in various states of completion, and then gremlins came and ate everything.

We have this really kick-ass computer. Or so we thought. Until the power supply/motherboard/ram/whatever-it-was issue happened, and it had to spend three days in the shop. And then we had to play catch up with “real” work after struggling to get stuff done on the laptop we love, but doesn’t have all the awesome software we have installed on the supposedly kick-ass computer.

All that sucks, because we love blogging. If we could blog every day, we’d be thrilled. But since blogging doesn’t pay (Shock!) we do actual work to pay the bills. Here’s a video the amazingly awesome @thebloggess, told us about, which explains why we do it anyway.

So, we owe you an apology. And something cool to look at while we work on the next blog post, which will be up soon, we swear.

We’re sorry we abandoned you. It won’t happen again. Promise.

Here’s the cool thing. There’s a blogger named Greg, who wrote this fabulous song about how much bloggers love comments. Then he had someone record it, and a bunch of bloggers (not us) sent clips that turned into this really cool video. We mean every word in it, as if we wrote it ourselves.

Go read Greg’s blog, Telling Dad and leave him a really good comment. You’ll make his day.

We’ll see you soon.