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We have this friend who happens to be a personal injury lawyer (yes, we’ll make friends with just about anyone) who asks us to keep a stack of his cards in our car, so the next time we see an auto accident, we can go up-wind and toss them into the air. He figures at least one of them will land in the hands of someone who can use it. We think he’s joking, but he is an attorney, so you never really know for sure.

While we’re doing his ambulance chasing for him, at least one attorney has taken to twitter to drum up some business.

(All the blurry stuff is called “redacting.” That’s code for “please don’t sue us.”)

It looks like @B—-ellyLawyer is using a bot to manage his account. We think a robot lawyer is even creepier than the real kind, and @d0pes1ck agrees with us.

We were going to ask whether @B—-ellyLawyer was following @Ambulance, but that’s a cheap joke. This one is much better:

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A lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:

1. Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty.
2. Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.
3. Overcharging fees to many clients.
4. Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case.

And the list goes on for quite awhile….

A lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, “Wait, I’ve done some charity in my life also.” St. Peter looks in his book and says,”Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?” The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, “Yes.” St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, “Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to hell.”
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Ditto.

Do you have a favorite lawyer joke? Share it in the comments.