Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

Sometimes there is a topic so rich and full of potential that we wax nostalgic about the early years of Saturday Night Life. Weekend Update with Chevy Chase would put Michael Jackson’s death in the proper context, and provide a refreshing counterpoint to the drivel that continues long after he was planted at Forest Lawn. 

Michael took talent, fame, and privilege gained through the hard work of his entire family, and squandered it, in a self-indulgent spiral of  self-mutilion and drug abuse, becoming a character more frightening and comical than Mr. Jefferson on South Park. His fame bought him access to children, and a free ride in a court of law. Not Guilty is a legal term. It doesn’t mean he was innocent. Is there an intelligent adult alive who really believes his dealings with children were all sunshine and rainbows?

Yesterday’s day long homage to him, by red-eyed, runny-nosed celebrities who shunned him for years was Hollywood window-dressing. We can only imagine how busy the phones were as all the agents in Tinsel Town fought to get their chosen celebrity an opportunity to march in the Michael Parade.

It’s refreshing, then, amidst all the MJ worship on twitter, to find someone engaging in hashtag spam in order to exploit the death of the King of Pop for his own personal gain.  It’s the kind of crass disrespect ole Mikey deserves.

Of course, we kid. We think spamming hashtags shows what an enormous jerk one person can be.

True to form of the average twitter scammer, “Joseph Young”  got down to business and set up a bunch of clones to spread his spam to the maximum number of tweets. He’s hoping you don’t remember the first rule of online avatars: If the chick is hot, she’s most likely not… A:  hot, or B:  a chick. Since they all point to his page, we’re pretty darned sure they are all him. (By the way, FBH says he’s not hot, either).

Then, “Joseph” and all his beauties started tweeting gems like this:

Bit.ly disabled that link, so he’s switched over to tinyurl.com today. Who wouldn’t want to “How to tweet spam would not be banned?” or “Juse set it up and forgrt it!”

He attempted yesterday to get a bunch of followers by offering his videos only to people who were following him, but that trick failed when his following verification tool didn’t work. So he “fixed” it. (PDF from yesterday)

Clicking through to his page today, you’ll see he’s offering to give you his piece of crap Twit Goldmine Exploiter - a collection of 6 videos showing you how to make money everyday automatically! That’s not all - it’s FREE until July 31, when he’s going to start selling it for $79, so act now!

Now we’ll tell you what we discovered so you don’t have to waste your time. The FREE program you get by just filling in your name and email address, requires you on the next screen to fill in your c0mplete address, phone number, and date of birth, and shares the terms of the FREE offer:

This promotion is conducted exclusively by Hotgiftzone. To receive the gift for this promotion you must: 1) register with valid information; 2) complete the user survey; 3) complete at least 2 Silver, 2 Gold and 6 Platinum offers. Available offers will vary and some offers may require a purchase to qualify. Receipt of your item requires compliance with offer terms, including: age and residency requirements, registration with valid email address, shipping address and contact phone number, completion of user survey and sponsor promotions. Upon valid completion of all Program Requirements we will ship your item to the shipping address you provided. Unless otherwise indicated, participation eligibility is restricted to US residents, 18 and over. Void where prohibited.

Of course, his page (on a free host) is poorly coded,  so you can’t really see all of that information. Since this means you can’t sign up for anything, he is just as pitiful as the dead man from whom he is attempting to profit. The irony is priceless.

Wikipedia is our bible:

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead (on Wikipedia)

Mr. Jefferson on South Park (on Wikipedia)